I’m an overweight dork who has traded my health and my relationships for countless hours playing sports video games while my penis remained dry and flaccid in my pants. I look down on other overweight dorks when they talk about Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto or Legend of Zelda or especially Assassin’s Creed. If they play RPGs, I don’t look at them at all. They’re dorks of the lowest order. But I appreciate RPGers, because as long as I’m above someone, I can live.
I created this online ode to sports video games because actually I don’t even know. It’s a secret in my personal life. My girlfriend doesn’t know about it. If she found out I wrote about video games, her vagina would dry up immediately, and I don’t want to buy lube when I can spend the $1 plus shipping and handling on MLB Slugfest.
I was the college dormitory champ of Madden 2005 while I should have been chasing tail around campus, yet I boast no authority on sports video games. I’ve never ranked high in an online league, and I don’t have the biggest collection of games, not even close. That’s next-level dork foolishness that I want no part of.
This site isn’t meant to be comprehensive, but I can tell you that I have added the “most important” sports games to my collection over the years. “Important” is a relative term, of course, since NCAA Basketball 10 is less important than other important things, like world peace and getting along with transgender people.
The reviews focus on gameplay. It’s all about gameplay if you ask me. I think it’s dumb when I see other dorks saying why a game’s dynasty mode isn’t perfect or sharing tips on hacking the point system for building a team of all-stars. If that’s you, go play an RPG, loser. Just kidding, stick around and read my reviews. It’ll be great childish fun, like making someone’s head bleed in NHLPA 93.
*This site is new and in progress. I started in May 2017. I plan on reviewing at least 120 games. Bookmark it and come back in a month.